


Jake Peralta Headcanons

by QueenoftheHobbits



Series: Headcanons [6]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Multi, explicit in case of nsfw headcanons, headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 20:37:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15614502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenoftheHobbits/pseuds/QueenoftheHobbits





	Jake Peralta Headcanons

  * Dating Jake Peralta:
  *     * Compromises, he’s always willing to change something about his life or a bad habit for you whether that’s eating more vegetables or throwing away that towel that he hasn’t washed in five years. 
    * There’s a lot of jokes, it’s funny, you both get things and sometimes his jokes are really bad but they still make you smile because it’s Jake. 
    * Lots of physical affection when off the clock, cuddles, kisses, hand holding. Jake’s a very affectionate person.
    * Which means he also will buy you stuff he can’t afford to.
    * Helping him fix his finances because Jesus, Jake. 
    * There are at least 10 separate occasions upon which he tries to sneak home animals. 
    * When arguments happen it can be bad, but you always end up sitting down together and talking. Jake doesn’t like leaving it, doesn’t want to let it fester, it makes him uncomfortable. 
    * He wants so hard to please you and part of your job is reminding him that he doesn’t need to change into some completely different person to do that. 
    * Anniversaries are a riot, he plans them like a year in advance. It’s a serious deal for him.
  * Jake Peralta is a bad flirt, by which I mean he can’t flirt for love nor money. Not even when he’s dating someone. He just can’t seem to do it, he’s just really bad at it.
  * Roomates: 
    * He leaves mess everywhere it’s fucking annoying, there’s old pizza laying around and it’s actually disgusting. On the bright side you can often convince him to clean up his mess. 
    * The roommate the makes you text them to know you got where you were going at night safely, the flatmate that waits up for you because they’re worried cause it’s dark outside
    * Probably follows you on dates in a disguise to make sure the person isn’t some creepy serial killer
    * Move nights are a regular thing, but it’s hard to get him to watch anything that isn’t die hard. 
    * He regularly adopts stray animals and you have to take them to the shelter every time. 
    * You have never see him do laundry in your life.
  * Jake Peralta would take you on a date down to the animal shelter where you can just lie in a pile of puppies and kittens and love.
  * Jake probably does those really silly doodles of everyone in the precinct and sometimes one of them will find them and be simultaneously insulted and amused at the same time. 
  * Polyamorous relationship with Jake and Amy: 
    * They both have things that drive you insane but also that you find endearing, like Amy’s overly organised nature where you can’t put something out of place, but you try your best to accommodate that even if it’s hard to get used to and Jake’s overly messy and cluttered way of living which has you in A&E at 1 am because you fell over something that he left out in the middle of the floor. 
    * While Jake and you are the type to sprawl out across the bed and tangle with the covers, Amy is the type of sleeper who while lie perfectly next to you without taking up all the room…suffice to say she doesn’t appreciate being knocked off the bed. 
    * Neither you nor Jake let Amy cook without some form of supervision and she’s actually getting better the more you remind her that some things just aren’t suitable substitutes.
    * Jake is the hugger, Amy is the one who gives long looks before finally deciding that a quick kiss is appropriate PDA. 
    * You’re open to all the PDA, especially if it’s both of them at the same time. 
    * While Jake still relishes in frustrating Amy, you both know he only goes so far and would never do it to blatantly upset her. 
    * You all argue over how to decorate the apartment… mostly because Jake’s very modern young man, Amy’s very old school kinda grandma like, and you’re very…you.
    * You never really do find a compromise, it’s just about you all secretly buying things and sneaking them into the apartment. 
    * Birthdays are about one upping each other in giving the best gifts and then realising you’ve brought the same thing…
  * Being Rosa's sister and dating Jake: 
    * She finds the two of you cute but also sickening, she wishes you’d stop sneaking off to kiss in the evidence lock up
    * It’s weird for her, not only does she work with her little sister, but her little sister is dating her friend…
    * You refuse to tell anyone Rosa’s mysteries despite their begging and the many offers of money, food, and more. 
    * Jake still tries to worm it out of you.
    * He has yet to succeed. 
    * You work with Rosa on cases a lot and you find it hilarious when criminals flirt with her especially the Pontiac Bandit.
    * You spread terrifying rumours about how Rosa once killed a man with a tea cup and so forth and Rosa loves it because every one gets increasingly scared of her
    * Jake is always sceptical
  * Headcanon that Jake’s fine with hostage situations until his romantic partner (if they’re a civilian) is involved and then he’s freaking out because they shouldn’t be there and they should be safe and god damn it Jake this is why no one visits the bank any more!
  * Kisses: All over, like Jake would kiss all over your face and your nose and make you giggled, and he’d love to kiss the top of your head or your hand or your neck and he’s just ready to kiss any part of you because he loves you and he likes the way you giggled, but also the way you moan and he loves that he can do that to you.
  * Jake Peralta visits his mum regularly to have dinner with her and he still sleeps in his room from when he was a teenager and his mum always makes his favourite meal and he’s just blessed to have his mum because she’s amazing and wonderful and she never failed him growing up and she cultivated such respect for women in him and she’s just his fav.
  * Jake Peralta is that officer who keeps spare large shirts around in case someone needs a new shirt for whatever reason and it’s like part of his debt but he still does it anyway. Even though there are probably spare NYPD shirts somewhere around the precinct anyway.
  * Jake Peralta probably says he can play chess but he actually can’t. He doesn’t know the real rules, he just made up his own.
  * Jake Peralta probably tries to steal the police pups that are training to be police dogs and wants to keep them all and he gives them silly names and then they find them all in Jake’s apartment and the police in charge of the pups get so angry with Jake because their training is so important, Peralta!
  * I think about the fact that Jake Peralta probably has the cutest soft little tummy ever a lot
  * Being Jake's little sister:
    * Jake’s an awesome brother, he’s the right mix of laid back and protective where he understands you need to make your own choices, your own mistakes, but at the same time will help pick up the pieces because there’s nothing in the rules that says he can’t help you. And he encourages you to do your best, to do better, to push back, to stand up, he encourages you to be good to people, to listen and to understand, but he also makes you laugh and  tries to make you catch him but always falls on the floor, and he always has time for you and he’s just a great brother.
  * Being Amy's sister and having a crush on Jake: 
    * Lots and lots of teasing, Amy knows and she never fails to tease you whenever you’re around Jake because you’re her baby sister and you like her man-child of a partner and it’s absolutely hilarious
    * She also tries to remind you that he’s pretty much a mess,
    * but secretly totally supports your choosing of Jake to crush on because while he might be less than financially stable and very reckless he’s a good guy who wouldn’t hurt you and she knows that
    * She drops hints to Jake all the time and is so frustrated that he either doesn’t get her drift or thinks she’s joking and just being an older sister 
    * Your 7 brothers try and help Amy convince Jake your interested…he starts to think that Amy wasn’t joking
    * You bring Amy lunch at the precinct a lot, but you also bring Jake food with the excuse that you might as well when actually it’s all an excuse to see him and look after him because he eats the worst food when you leave him to his own devices. 
    * Amy brings in baby photos of you and shows Jake
    * You bring in baby photos of her and show Jake to retaliate
    * Jake gets invited to all the family dinners and events, and your whole massive family insists on sitting you two next to each other and making you do things together and in general attempting to match make
    * Eventually Jake gathers that you definitely have a crush on him and Amy totally wasn’t lying and he enjoys flirting with you and hugging you more to fluster you and it’s hilarious to both him and Amy because you pretty much think he’s still not interested or aware, and you get so flustered
    * It is adorable
    * You get called Little Santiago by Jake
    * Amy calls you Mrs Peralta…in front of people
    * Charles watches on, and probably writes things about it into his food blog like ‘this would be the perfect restaurant for Y/N Santiago and Jake Peralta to have a lovely evening together’
    * You totally have seen Jake in just a towel because Amy stole all his clothes while he was showering at the precinct and you were visiting and you literally ran away because you couldn’t handle dat booty. 
    * The towel incident is consistently brought up
    * Sometimes you go to Shaw’s with everyone.
    * You are the Santiago sibling that everyone actually knows, meets, and regularly sees and everyone is confused that you’re related sometimes and also confused that Amy is instantly 5 again when you’re around
    * Rosa and Amy tag team to embarrass you at all corners
    * Jake comes to your and Amy’s cousin’s wedding and he looks so good in a tux that you get completely smashed to stop yourself from embarrassing yourself
    * You still embarrass yourself.
    * There may have been table dancing
    * But Jake thinks its adorable and you looked hot in your dress and he regrets not dancing with you before you got drunk
    * The 6 months that Jake’s undercover you believe he actually got fired and you’re distraught and barely go to the precinct because his desk has a newbie on it who uses too many tissues and looks like a creep
    * Amy brings you one of Jake’s hoodies
    * You wear it almost (rather disgustingly) constantly and barely wash it (which Amy is absolutely horrified by and instead starts to swamp out hoodies so you don’t somehow die from dirt laundry) 
    * The day Jake comes back and you find out he was undercover with the mob you’re wearing one of his hoodies, your hair is a mess, you look like a mess, and you hit him in the shoulder…and he kisses you because ‘omg you’re so cute and i’ve missed you and this shit sucked for 6 months omg’
    * ‘I have a crush on you’ ‘babe, you’re my girlfriend of course you have a crush on me…also you’re adorable’.
  * Headcanon that Jake’s watch doesn’t even work, like the battery died 8 years ago, he just wears it to look professional and like he totally knows how to tell the time, but really it’s broke and it’s part of the reason he’s always late to work…that and that he snoozes all of his alarms and eventually just stopped setting alarms…because it’s Jake Peralta.
  * Jake Peralta is also partial to plus size/overweight/fat women, but i’m pretty sure his focus is on the thighs, like Jake seems like a thigh man to me tbh. 




End file.
